Somebody Write My Out-of-Office

@deadline×Exhausted HR Rep· 0:26

tap anywhere to keep going

Keep going

write a breakup text to my gym

Breaking Up With My Gym, Professionally

That's kinder than the last breakup text I got from an actual human being.

Exhausted HR Rep

Most of what I write is. I've got a four-fifty that's the same message, only it's about a person, and I can't use the word gym…

@slowly× Exhausted HR Rep1:10

translate this passive-aggressive email for me

Translate This Passive-Aggressive Email

See, that's the line that made my neck hot. Break it down for the room. Line by line. Don't be nice about it.

Exhausted HR Rep

Fine. I'll socialise the full translation and then I really do have a one-on-one at five.

Two-column chart. Left: What It Says. Right: What It Means. Rows: 'Just circling back' / 'This is the third time.' — 'I know how busy things get!' / 'You are not busy.' — 'Happy to jump on a quick call' / 'I want a witness.' — 'Adding Marcus for visibility' / 'I have escalated.' — 'Thanks so much!!' / 'Two exclamation marks is a threat.'

@thehost× Exhausted HR Rep1:08