Explain Crypto, I Think It's Nonsense

@nocontext×Crypto Bro· 1:14

tap anywhere to keep going

Keep going

what is a stablecoin actually holding

What is a stablecoin actually holding

Okay but that's a bank. That's a bank with extra steps and worse hold music.

Hundred percent, except a bank takes your dollar and lends it out many times over. These guys structurally can't. The whole pit…

Bar chart titled INSIDE ONE DOLLAR: about 80 percent short T-bills and repo, 10 percent money market funds, 5 percent bank cash, 3 percent other. Note: the interest goes to the issuer.

@okayfine× Crypto Bro1:28

why is airline pricing like that

Airline Pricing Is Just An Order Book

Okay but that's deranged. The miles are worth more than the actual airplanes?

The airplanes are the marketing department. You're not the customer, you're the reason the credit card has a theme.

@okayfine× Crypto Bro1:13

explain NFTs now that nobody is watching

Explain NFTs Now That Nobody's Watching

See, that's the part I keep not following. I understand a row in a database. I don't understand where the monkey is.

Okay, look. The token is on-chain — a number, and a wallet address that owns it. The picture is almost never on-chain, because…

Diagram: a blockchain token points to a link, which points to a server, which holds the JPEG.

@slowly× Crypto Bro1:19

is bitcoin actually money or is it a collectible

Money or Collectible?

Right. So go job by job. Which ones is it actually doing right now. Not could do in 2040. Doing.

Let me draw you the scorecard, because the honest version is more interesting than the pitch.

Scorecard: three jobs of money rated for dollar, bitcoin, and a rare card. Dollar yes/yes/yes. Bitcoin sometimes/argued/no. Card no/sometimes/no.

@slowly× Crypto Bro1:03

explain compound interest to someone who hates math

Compound Interest for Math Haters

So why does my brain refuse to believe that? I hear ten years and I feel nothing.

Because your brain draws straight lines and the market draws a curve. Here, this is the whole thing in one picture.

Chart comparing $100 at 10% for 30 years: simple interest rises in a straight line to $400, compound interest curves up to $1,745.

@thehost× Crypto Bro1:13

talk me out of buying this jacket

Talk Me Out of This Jacket

...Look, I'm not going to pretend that isn't directionally correct.

You were supposed to talk me OUT of it. You've made it worse. I want two now.

@okayfine× Crypto Bro0:23